How Do I Deep Throat?!?



Dear Couch,

I love to give oral sex, I really wish I could deep throat but in each attempt to do so I find myself gagging! I'm getting kind of sick of it, I tried breathing slowly, relaxing myself ect. but nothing works. I heard of numbing gels but they are nowhere to be found. I've run out of options here...

Thanks For Your Time


Dear Gagger,

First let us tell you that the whole deep throat thing is a bunch of hype and that most guys don't enjoy having their penis down your esophagus. Truth is, once you get past the tongue, things get pretty hard in there and that doesn't feel good. In fact it feels pretty damn weird. The most important tool in your fellatio routine is your hand. You should be using it to provide the rest of the stimulation you can't with your mouth, with a firm, hopefully slick, grip. Here's a nice basic fellatio techniques essay and Nina Hartley's Guide To Better Fellatio for starters.

If you're still hung up on this deep throat hype then we'll try and help you past that gag reflex. You're going to have to keep your practice dick from moving while you're learning or this will not work. So if you have to, tell your man what you're trying to do and that he has to remain still until you get used to this. You can overcome the gag reflex just like a sword swallower if you take your time. You could use a sore throat spray like Chloraseptic to numb your throat a bit but this will also numb your tongue and the residual will numb your man's penis. Not a good idea. What is recommended, is to make sure you have adequate lubrication. You may want to try a numbing deep throat gel that mildly numbs the throat to help add inches and excitement during fellatio.

This skill is not learned over night so get busy on the following exercise. Just take in the penis to the point right before your gag reflex, and then practice taking a bit more until you feel you're going to gag, then slowly and confidently back off or remove the penis from your mouth. Repeating this exercise will take away from the panic associated with the gag reflex and help you to overcome it. Here's a site with more instructions for learning how to deep throat. You may also want to read the book Sex Tips for Straight Women From a Gay Man, our readers rave about it, and/or How to Be a Great Lover: Girlfriend-To-Girlfriend Totally Explicit Techniques That Will Blow His Mind, for more oral sex pointers.





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