My Stepfather's Mother Remarried In His Twenties and Had a Son! I WANT Him But I'm Unsure If This is Wrong!??!

Dear Couch,

I am a 29-year-old female in a unique situation. I was raised by my stepfather and my biological mother. My stepfather's mother remarried and bore a child by this man when my stepfather was in his early twenties. Now I have been infatuated with my ' grandfather's' nephew John for a number of years but never made my feelings obvious to anyone because I felt that we were related. Recently, at a family gathering, I ran into John and he told me that he also felt the same way about me and wanted to do something about it. I am willing to go ahead with this but, something has me stumped. Are we really related? Several other people in our family who knows about the situation all have different opinions on it. Some say we are related, some say we are not. I am not sure. The one thing I do know is that I WANT this man but, I don't want to get involved with my ' cousin.' Please Help.

Lusting in NY

Dear Confusing in NY,

What the hell are you talking about?!!? Are you the one that writes those damn questions for the LSAT? Cripes they're a pain in the ass, ' Greg is shorter than Jenny but taller than Larry who's cat is three years old and shorter than Courtney. What is Larry's shoe size?' As far as we can tell from your LSAT question, you don't have any blood relation to your stepfather's mother but depending on what area of the Appalachians you're from, this is always in question.

Let's review the reason having consanguineous relations, I.E. sex with your cousin/brother/daddy, is a bad thing. There are these cute little guys called recessive genes which, when two people with the same or very similar genes breed, GREATLY increase the likelihood of their offspring being born with that genetic disorder . This is why most cultures have taboos against close relatives having sex. In your case, even though you're not biologically related to this guy, he is still a member of your family so you may get some friction from your relatives if'n you two go to court'n each other. You may have to do a little educating of your family members to help them over their taboo feelings but face it, most people don't think about why something is a no-no they just bow to the group think. If you just have to boink this guy, do it quietly and be prepared to deal with the family fall out.

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