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AskTheCouch.com
The Sex Advice Column You've Always Wanted But Were Afraid You'd Ask!
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Dear Couch,
May I first say
that I find your column to be
very amusing, and very frank it reminds me
of Dan Savage's excellent radio show, way back
when. Kudos! My questions
involve anal play: I'm currently involved online with a woman
that I'm
very much interested in meeting, and we plan to make anal play a part of
our
lovemaking should we decide to take our relationship further when I
return from Bosnia.
She's very into experimenting, and I'm very
anal-erotic, so we think this form of
love-making will be quite
rewarding, but I would like to do everything I can to ensure her
pleasure
in this.
So: First, can you go into more detail as to
anal
douching? She's a nurse, and tells me that enemas create unsettled stomachs
and may
make love-making unrealistic for many hours afterwards... can you
describe/expand? Second,
where can oral dams be bought, generally? I find
the idea of rimming her very exciting,
but, again, she cautions me from
her experience as a nurse to the dangers of anal-oral
contact. Lastly,
can you recommend the book 'The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Women'?
It
seems tailor-made for us, and is carried by Amazon.com, so I can
easily order it from here
in Bosnia, but I'd like your opinion (or
anyone's opinion) on its efficacy.
On a final note, all of
the links on your
more recent reply regarding anal sex (August 98) are
out of date/broken, but the original
'10 rules of anal sex' link from
back in '97 still works. Thank you for your time, and go
ahead and roast
me for this long-distance thing... personally, I find the excitement
of
anticipation to be a great turn-on, but I'm not at all sure how
we'll get along in
person... but if we bomb, c'est la vie I'm sure
going to try it out!
Sincerely,
Martin (Bottoms-up in
Bosnia? ^ ^)
Dear Martin,
We never roast people for long
distance relationships, only
for not making a move once the relationship
is at a level where continued distance will
only harm it. Some people
will use distance to help keep them from a more involved
relationship
than they are ready for. This is fine for them, but their partners will
only
begin to feel lonely and frustrated as they become more emotionally
involved. You should
keep this in mind when corresponding with your
experimental nurse.
Which brings us to your anal erotica.
Your friend is correct
that anal douching throws the natural bacterial
stew of the colon out of whack resulting
in some lower abdominal
discomfort for some people. However, this is not an immediate
effect
taking at least a few hours to be noticed but we'll bet your nurse is
pretty
familiar with her own colon. We say skip the enema and follow this
simple routine. First,
you should wait until she takes a poop. Then you
should take a shower together as this
will help you get in the mood for
sex after sitting around waiting for her to take a dump.
While rubbing
your wet nakedness you should take the opportunity to lather up her butt
and
in place of douching simply insert a soapy finger gently into her
anus. No need to do this
too much. A few times will suffice and don't go
overboard with the soap or you could have
the same problem as
douching.
Which brings us to the bedroom. You shouldn't jump
right on
her butt the minute you hit the sack. Anal play is in addition
to your sexual play not the
raison d'etre. Start with the
foreplay the two of you have already found to be
pleasurable and during
some quality cunnilingus you can aim that virile tongue of yours at
her
cute little ass pucker. Now there are those, your friend seems to be one of
them, that
screech to the heavens about the dangers of analingus. They
claim E-Coli and other butt
parasites to be the dangers. Let's get real
here and remember that these diseases have
noticeable symptoms for the
carrier and of course any anal play should be avoided until a
doctor's
diagnosis. However there is Hepatitis A which is contagious through rimming.
Of
course there is a vaccination for Hep A so you two may wish to
consider it.
While engaging in your anal play we're going to
come
down on the side of (litigation) safety and just say LATEX.
You asked where to find dental
dams, just
look in your nearest condom wrapper. An oral dam is just a square
of
latex so cut a condom lengthwise and you've got an analingus barrier! Of
course we'll suggest a condom for the actual anal sex and we can't
say this
enough LUBE....LUBE...LUBE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There can not be enough water based lubricant in anal sex. You've
read the Ten
Rules of Anal Sex but we'll suggest our
readers check it out as well. The
book you mention, The
Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women is
highly rated by all the sources
we checked out and the reader comments
were all very favorable. Otherwise, remember
to take it easy and let
her call the shots until she is comfortable with your
new game of butt
darts. Good Luck!
The Couch
________________________________________
AskTheCouch.com
The Sex Advice Column You've Always Wanted But Were Afraid You'd Ask!
http://AskTheCouch.com
Printer Friendly Copy
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